Scattered Thoughts: We are All Walking Corpses

There are days when you are rendered speechless by some actions. How do you describe the refusal of some people to join us in the 21st century? How do you explain to people that a group of mad people that share the name “Nigerians” with you felt offended by someone’s preaching and their only solution was to hack her to death? How? Eunice Elisha, a 42-year old mother of seven was hacked to death in the early hours of saturday for early morning evangelism.

This is sad. But we are always sad now. We live amidst killers. We are “Nigerians” with psycopaths. How do you kill someone and go back home and just go on living your life? How? How do you still have the guts to think your life can be anything but miserable from then? How can you even wish that you have a future that will be anything but bleak?

This is sad. It’s as if these serial killers have become bolder. Hacking people to death over the smallest issues has become “normal” now. Our “normal” would cause sane people to shudder. It is a very dangerous “normal”. This is an environment where adults are not safe, how can children be safe here?

It becomes disturbing when we can condemn killings in foreign lands when we are all walking corpses in our own land. We have to walk on eggshells in our own country so that we don’t offend some people and they don’t hack us to death or remove our head. How can we be strangers in our own country? How can we be afraid to talk, eat, move around in our own country?

May the late Mrs Eunice Elisha find rest. May her killers never find rest, peace and progress.

In the spirit of us all being walking corpses, “here’s a toast to the dead already and hurrah for the next to die.”

Semaj

Hello Sexy!

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Hello Sexy!

Eniola whistled excitedly as she made her way back from the meeting with her publishing company. Her agent had called her the previous day to give her the good news that her manuscript had been accepted and that the publishers wanted to meet to hash out other details.

She waited to get a taxi and when she didn’t get one, started walking with the hope of a cab meeting her on the way. She was too excited to stand still anyway. As she walked, someone waved at her. She stopped and stared but couldn’t place the face. The face looked familiar. The lady looked like someone she had met before but she just couldn’t remember where or who she was.

As she was still squinting, trying to connect a name with the face, the lady crossed the main road and nearly crushed her as she threw her arms around her.

“I love your hair!” The lady shrieked, patting Eniola’s hair.

Eniola gently wriggled away from her and forced a smile. “Thank you.”

After she left the lady, she had not walked for more than two minutes when she passed another woman. The woman was short, had legs that looked like tree stumps and eyeballs that looked like they wanted out of their sockets. The woman sized her up, spat on the floor and hissed as she passed. Eniola turned around, wondering what was going on. That woman too looked familiar.

“Sisi Pelebe!” A man called as she rounded a bend. His voice was familiar too. But just like the others, she couldn’t tell who they were.

As she rounded the bend, she heard a car approaching and turned around only to discover that it was filled up already. She turned back to resume walking when her leg hit a stone. Her bag fell and the contents spilled on the floor. A copy of her manuscript was one of the things that fell. As she bent up to pick the manuscript, it suddenly hit her; the faces, she knew them. She knew them all. They were characters from her novel.

She remembered now. The lady that hugged her was Helena. She remembered her face from when she was building her up in her head. She remembered that she described her as a hugger. She remembered the voice; smooth as silk and the fact that she loved giving complements.

And the short woman, she was Gbemi. In her novel, Gbemi’s husband had left her for the maid her mother brought from the village. Gbemi had been bitter since then. Every lady that had the audacity to dress well and appear beautiful was an enemy to Gbemi.

And the man who called her “Sisi Pelebe”; she remembered him too. She introduced him in Chapter 3 of her novel. He was the man that sat outside waving to people as they went to work and greeting them welcome when they returned. He had a name for everyone that passed. Bolanle, a fat girl in her novel was called “heavy duty” by the man.

As she entered the gate of her house, she rubbed her scalp and sighed in relief. She didn’t know what was happening but whatever it was, she was grateful that the antagonist in her novel, Kelvin, a dashingly handsome medical doctor was not part of those she had met. In her novel, he was a medical doctor by day and a serial killer by night. At night, he hid in the shadows and called his victims sweet names before digging a scalpel into them and slicing them open like ileya ram.

As she looked for her keys in her bag, she sighed again. Maybe she was hallucinating. Maybe she had spent so much time building those characters that they were now a part of her life. But whatever was going on, she was grateful that she hadn’t met Kelvin. She just couldn’t…

Her eyes caught movement. She saw the shadow step out from the darkness before she heard the voice whisper: “Hello sexy!

James Ogunjimi

July 2016

The “Buhari is Better than Jonathan” Anthem

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The “Buhari is better than Jonathan” narrative is itself very faulty. It is one of those things that gets accepted due to constant repetition and nobody bothers to check the truth of it again.

BUHARI IS NOT BETTER THAN JONATHAN. Yes, you heard me right. Let us analyse.

The two main reasons why Buhari was presented as a better alternative to Jonathan was on SECURITY and ANTI-CORRUPTION.

President Jonathan was a weak man. He should never have been President. A nation of over 160 million people should never have a weak president. How can a President excuse his inability to take a decision with the “If I do this, they will say that” story? No. He was weak. As such, the wound of corruption festered under him. He stole and gave others license to steal too.

Come to President Buhari. He was presented as the messiah. The “I never stole a kobo” campaign was successful. They said he was a farmer who had nothing. Hell, he was so poor he couldn’t afford 27 million for form and had to take loan. They said he was so poor he could only afford sachet milo. Dino Melaye even wrote an article saying that Buhari had not been collecting his more than 30 million naira pension, until those in charge countered that lie and said the man had been collecting his money complete.

Now, he became President and different revelations began to emerge. The man wasn’t poor. He had house in Daura and Abuja. He was collecting pension of more than 30 million naira. How come someone that knew he was going to contest for over two years now had not saved anything from the over 30 million pension and his farm produce? How come somebody that was paying school fees of his children outside the country could not afford 27 million? How come somebody that could afford a private physician from outside the country since the early 90s couldn’t afford 27 million? How come somebody whose wife was so rich had to go to a bank to borrow 27 million when she could have borrowed him the money?

Different revelations followed. The no certificate issue where 13 SANS were hired to answer the simple question: Buhari, where is your certificate? The appointment of Fashola despite the website and borehole issues after he gave his “I don’t sign cheques” ‘explanation’. The appointment of Amaechi inspite of being wanted by probe panels in Rivers state for financial mismanagement, the Soyinka dinner and the weighty allegations raised by that foreign newspaper. The CBN and FIRS secret recruitments that were left unaddressed and unreversed. The Buratai case that was swept under the carpet. All these have thrown out the anti-corruption stance of this government. As far as I’m concerned, Jonathan was corrupt. Buhari is corrupt.

Now, insecurity. True, President Buhari has crushed boko haram to a large extent and bombings are no longer as regular as before. We can rate him higher than Goodluck Jonathan on security. But security isn’t just about defeating boko haram; it’s about keeping citizens safe. Boko haram may have been defeated but the killer herdsmen killed their share of people too.

Now, infrastructure wise, Goodluck Jonathan created more than 10 new federal universities, built almajiri schools in the north. President Buhari on his own is trying to build grazing reserves.

In terms of freedom of speech. President Jonathan signed the FOI bill into law. President Buhari on the other hand is hounding everyone that dares speak against him. The case of the Kaduna poly lecturer that was arrested and fired for his criticism of Buhari is there. The arrest and continued detentipn despite court orders of Dasuki, Kanu, Fani, etc are there. The arrant disrespect for the rule of law everyday is there.

Economically: Economically, President Jonathan left an economy that was applauded as one of the fastest growing economies. Salaries were paid as at when due. President Buhari on the other hand has laid the economy flat on its back. Everything is expensive. Policies keep flunctuating. A policy statement is made today. Tomorrow it is reversed.

So, before you join the bandwagon to sing the “Buhari is better than Jonathan” anthem, make sure you have your facts right and know exactly why you are saying it.

Semaj

Migration: Time for Africa to be Proactive

Time for Africa to be Proactive

In a report on migration titled ‘International Migration in Africa: Framing The Issues’ released during the 9th conference of African finance ministers at the on-going African Development week (#ADW2016) in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, it was realized that migration streams within Africa are much larger than those out of Africa. This results in more than half of those migrating internationally doing so within Africa, with only about 28% of migrants from Africa going to Europe. Of the total migrant stock in Europe, less than 12% are from Africa.

Shocking right?

What this report is saying is that majority of those who leave African countries in search of greener pastures do not actually leave the continent; they move in a circle, over-burdening the infrastructure and facilities and then slowing down development rate some more.

There are two options: we either look at this situation as a problem or as a condition that can be turned around.

It is equally important for me to point out that in destination countries, migrants do not only do jobs that the local citizens of that country do not want to do but in most cases, create jobs for themselves. What this tells us is that the role of migration in development must not be overlooked.

The next question would be: do we realize the fact that migrants contribute to the development of  regions? Harnessing opportunities within African countries would maintain and sustain these migrants from moving out of Africa.

Intra region moving could mean a whole lot for the continent than the moving to Europe. Remittances from internal migrants are about four times more than international migrants. They get to the remotest parts of Africa, something these international migrations cannot do.

Not to confuse refugees for migrants, refugees for some reason or the other may not return to their countries. One of such examples is caused by conflict and severe human rights violation, as well as exploitation of economic resources. This raises the question of ensuring security in these disaster prone areas and ensuring that these places are not abandoned but instead, given the opportunity to develop and provide the needed growth facilities.

In the next 15 years, Africa would have to find jobs for 350million people. The doubling of population within the next thirty years will lead to migration both inside and outside.

Right now, because of the high rate of movement into urban areas, migrants are seen as contributing to poverty and crowding facilities in these urban places. But instead of focusing on sending them back without anything to look forward to, we should note that rural-urban migrants play a big role in the urbanization and poverty alleviation of these places.

If we have adequate infrastructure, facilities and a stable economy, refugee status can change along migratory routes, relieving governments of continually having to provide them with aids.

What is the next course of action? Reviewing tax laws to improve our weakened system to stop illicit outflow from the continent, so we can provide adequate security for the disaster prone areas, develop the rural areas by investing in Agriculture, upgrading and expanding urban facilities to cater for increasing population of people in the cities, and to begin a process of preparing for the population boom that is bound to hit us in the next 15 years.

Sadiq-Mabeko Oyinkan

The ‘Religiousification’ of Our Politics

The ‘Religiousification’ of Our Politics

There is an attempt by some people to ‘religiousify’ our political terrain. Such people, tired of keeping their doctrines and ideologies within their religious houses, are trying to bring the ‘let the weak say I am strong’ ideology into our politics and indeed into our everyday life.

They want us to look at Nigeria going through one of its darkest hours economically and say: “Things are ok.” They want us to listen to the vast majority of our people groaning under an heavy weight of directionlessness and say: “Nigeria has not had it better than this.” They want us to watch tears roll down the faces of our people and still say: “Nigerians have never been happier than they are now.”

We will reject every attempt to substitute genuine feelings of Nigerians with delusions of those who are disconnected from the pains and tears of the ordinary people. We will not proclaim strength when we are weak. We will not declare plenty when there is lack. We will not say we see a giant standing tall when it is in fact a dwarf crawling in the dust.

Those “let the weak say I am strong” doctrines can work in religious places and go unchallenged but when they are introduced into the political terrain, we must see them for what they are: dubious attempts to justify an inability to deliver while encouraging the people to tell barefaced lies everyday to themselves about their situation while the people who are supposed to fix the situation look on, clueless, directionless, powerless to lift a finger to do the job they were hired to do.

If they want us to say Nigeria is strong, let them make Nigeria strong. If they want us to say there’s plenty, let then eradicate lack. If they want us to talk of a Nigeria of happy people, let them work towards removing those things that cause our people to cry.

James Ogunjimi
27:12:2015

Emergency Call

Emergency Call

Her hands shook as she reached for her phone. She rubbed her scalp, whispering encouragement to herself in a bid to calm her ragged nerves. She jumped as she heard her husband, Richard bang the gate again. “Veronica, open the gate this minute or I’ll beat the demons holding your brain captive out of you.” As she heard the two girls with him giggle, she knew exactly what to do.

She began to dial on her phone. “9-1….” Her hands were shaking even harder now. She willed herself to continue, hating the fact that she had never been able to go through with this call since she started trying two months ago. Yes, two months ago when the police announced that a serial killer was on the prowl in their little town, killing young ladies.

She swallowed hard and entered the last number. Almost immediately, a voice chimed in from the other side: “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” Now that she had gone through with the call, she didn’t know what to say. Everything she planned to say, everything she rehearsed these past weeks had all flown out the window.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” The voice said again. And still she found herself tongue-tied, too scared to talk.

She knew she would have to talk eventually. She was tired of everything. Tired of her husband. Tired of him bringing girls to their home to make love on their matrimonial bed. Tired of him undermining her, beating her up and expecting her to say thank you for the beatings.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” The voice was still asking over the phone.

She sighed heavily and answered, her voice shaking: “The serial killer killing young ladies, I think I know who he is and I know exactly where he is.”

As she heard him bang the gate again, she shuddered. Soon the police would arrive and drag him away. They would discover the bloodied clothes of the murdered girls in their basement. They would see the murder weapon. They would see his boots, stained with dry mud, exactly the way the police described it. They would haul him off. What they would not and may never know is that he was not the serial killer, just a fool paying for his crimes against her.

Every time he beat her for complaining about him bringing random girls to their home, she marked the faces of the girls he brought home and went after them the next day. She would shoot them and return with their clothes, which she would dump in their basement.

She knew the day would come when he would push her too far that she would want him gone forever. Well, this was it. He would be halfway to the electric chair before he knew what hit him. Maybe if he returned in another life, he would remember to treat people with respect.

James Ogunjimi

One Last Time

One Last Time

I have written twice on the issue of secession, its implications and its likely outcome. The first was in 2013 in an essay titled: “Secession and its complexities.” The second time I wrote about secession was early this year in a piece titled: “Songs of Secession: Pathway to a Nigerian Rwanda”. When I wrote that second piece, I was a believer in the delusion that there were indeed on-the-ground fighters who were capable of grinding activities to a halt.

I would realize later that majority of those who are making the threats are the social media warriors, who are prepared to cripple Nigeria from the safety of their gadgets. They are the same people that threaten to take up arms but have never seen a gun before. The same people that if I ‘flash’ them ordinary ‘shakabula’, the first words from their mouths won’t be “Biafra or death!”, it will be “Blood of Jesus!”. This is the last time I will write about secession, permit me one last time to say my mind.

The agitations for Biafra were legitimate and understandable back then when Nigeria was in its formative years. The power tussle, the way the government was formed and the instability connived to make it easy to victimise a group of people and get away with it. But is that still the case? More than four decades after Biafra was declared and dissolved, are the Igbo people still been singled out for victimisation and margainalisation? I say No!

First, Nigeria is now run democratically. The concept of a single leader determining what happens and how things are run, has been done away with. We now have Governors. We have Honourables from each state in the house of Assembly. We have Senators from each state in the House of Assembly. An Hausa man is not the Enugu state Governor. A Yoruba man is not representing Bayelsa in the Federal House of Representatives. An Igala man is not representing Imo state in the Senate. Where then is the marginalisation?

Like other Governors, the Eastern Governors collect federal allocations. If Igbos are still suffering, the Governors, Honourables and Senators should be held responsible. The last President of Nigeria, President Jonathan is from Bayelsa. Under him, over 20 comrades of the Biafran Zionist Movement (BZM) were arrested and detained, the next thing that happened was that their corpses surfaced on the Ezu River. Under him, comrades of the Movement for the Actualisation of the Sovereign State of Biafra (MASSOB) were arrested and paraded wearing just boxers by security operatives. Kanu and his followers, rather than spew hate and blame everybody for marginalisation, should look inward and see that their own people are responsible for their predicament.

If their idea of being sidelined and marginalised is not having enough ministerial slots or national appointments, then it will be very unfortunate. A Minister, a Director in a Federal parastatal, an Ambassador will not be able to achieve 1/1000 of what the Governor will achieve. If the states are not developing, if the people still feel left out, they should hold their Governors responsible. They should hold their Federal Representatives and Senators who sleep through Senate sessions responsible.

We have all had our moment in the sun. Since our return to democracy, a Yoruba man has led this country. A Bayelsan has led this country. A northerner is there now. If you did not spew hate when your brother as President killed your comrades and dumped their corpses in the river, it is hypocritical of you to spew hate now. If Nigeria wasn’t a zoo when your brother as President arrested and paraded your members wearing just boxers, you are a hypocrite for calling Nigeria a zoo now.

Nobody is marginalising anybody again. Those who continue to believe the likes of Nnamdi Kanu are those who are still stuck, emotionally to the idea of Biafra. Biafra was necessary then BECAUSE of the OBVIOUS acts of marginalisation and the way the country was positioned. What reasons do we have for seceding today?

Besides, IF Biafra comes to be today, who are those that will rule? Will it still not be the same members of the ruling class who have shamelessly looted their states into penury? Or is an Hausa man the one embezzling money in Enugu? Is it a Yoruba man that is swallowing Bayelsa’s allocations? These should call for critical thinking rather than blindly following self-serving leaders who only want a shot at national recognition riding on the backs of gullible people.

This is the last time I will write on this. Those who can think should think. Those who want to follow a man who hides at the back to shout orders should go ahead. Those who can look inward and ask questions of their own leaders, should. Those who want to cripple Nigeria using their Facebook accounts and Twitter handles should be told to keep it up. Those who call Nigeria a zoo and continue to live in it and reproduce in it should be given a thumbs up. Those who shout: “Death to Nigeria!” from the safety of their phones and laptops should be told to ride on.

In the final analysis, smart people exist to teach gullible people life lessons. There will be no smart people if there are no gullible ones.

James Ogunjimi
18:10:2015

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